Things I Could Never Say
by just a turtle
Summary: Johnny writes a love letter to Dally, things he could never say. This is supposed to be a sweet, short one-shot. My first story on here, S.E Hinton, owns The Outsiders. Enjoy. xx
1. Chapter 1

_'Dear Dally'_

I debated wether or not I should start it like that, but it's the only thing I can think of right now. Its not everyday you write a **love **letter to your friend. I decided it was the best way to start so I continued, having trouble writing the words out:

_''Its Johnny, hopefully this letter won't be tossed on the ground, ripped to shreds, or even burnt to ashes because its pretty important. I have been feeling like this for awhile, maybe even longer, but that dosen't matter. I'll get straight to the point Dal, I love you._

_'And not in the brotherly way, the romantic way. Surprised, little Johnnycakes, a queer, gay, and in-love with you.'_

I wondered how he would react, probably flip out and come track me down and murder me. Maybe I should stop, what was I thinking anyways? Writing a letter to Dally, not just any letter, a love letter. Dally; Strong, cold, brave, cool, tuff, tough, straight.. Dallas liked girls, Silvya a perfect example, okay not perfect. Suddenly all my feelings spilled out all into the paper I had found.

_'You hate me now, disgusted and creept out by me; although you hate me I still would love you. If you murdered me, hurt me, or just plained out ignored me, I would still love you. You're everything I'm not: Strong, brave, tuff, tough, cool,handsome, straight._

_'Life comes as a surprise, twists and turns at every corner, you don't know what to expect. Ah jeez Dal I'm starting to sound like Pony, deep and smart. I ain't smart, that's Pony's department._

_'I don't know how it happend, when I fell in-love with you. I guess my feelings started when you punched that Soc, at the movies when he threw my drink in my face. I was so embaressed but you got in his face and punched him, I guess thats when my feelings started, seeing you defend me, or just pickin' a fight._

_'Dally, don't ignore or avoid me after you read this, that'll be worse than dying. Cheesy but true, I'd die without ya Dal. But I knoe you'll be fine without me, your always okay and strong. I admire you for that, I wish I was more like you, from your looks to personality. Okay, not everything but, I hope you know what I mean._

_'I hope you read this far, because I'd feel foolish for even writing this letter. Actually, I already do feel foolish. I hope you got the point of this letter, I really love you. Hopelessy, unconditionally in-love with you, and you only.'_

__I decided to leave it at that, if it was any longer Dally would definitly throw it away before he even read it. I smiled crookidly, spelling mistakes, crossed out words, and angry scribbled lines was on the letter. But I knew nobody was going to see this, I'd only give it to him the day I die, but for now. these are things I could never say.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Originally I wanted this to be a oneshot, but this idea kept bugging me so I made it, and I had a reveiw saying I should continue it and make Dally's reaction. Well, this is something simular to it..

Disclaimer: S.E Hinton owns the Outsiders, as much as I want to, I don't. *Que sad sigh.*

* * *

Dally's POV;

"Dally, take this." Johnnycakes handed me a piece of paper, I immediately pocketed it, wanting to ask more questions but he sunk back into the pillow. Dead. I froze, he's dead. Actually dead. "Johnny don't die, ya can't die." I found myself begging and punching a wall repeatedly. This is what you get when you care about someone. They die. I ran out of there, trying to hold back tears, I let Johnny in and now he's gone. The only thing I have is memories, and the piece of paper he gave me.

I dug around in my pocket, grabbing the paper out and jumping in Bucks car before speeding off towards a store, my mind running a thousand miles. I parked and unfloded the note, or letter. Johnny's handwriting was scrawled on the paper, I skimmed through it, before I came to the sexond paragraph. 'I love you.'

I stopped skimming and actually took the time to read it. The kid explained everything. He loved me, the way I li- loved him. I always did, I tried liking girls, I did. But the kids dark puppy like eyes put a spell on me or something. Now tears did fall from my eyes the second time that night. I jumped out of the car, my mind everywhere. Mostly on Johnny, if the kids was alive I would've been over the moon or something, but he's dead. Now I want to die too.

Life's not worth living without Johnny, he was the main reason I stayed around and alive. Now that he's gone, I want to leave to. And I Dallas Winston always gets what he wants.

Without thinking about what I was doing I walked in the corner store, immediatley walking towards the magazines, my plan already in my head. I barely heard the guy at the counter, snapping at me. To rpove I don't give two shits about what he was saying I ripped a magazine in half. "You have to pay for that." He snapped yet again.

I walked cooly to the counter, then quickly pulling out the heater from my waist band. "Gimme the money!"

He looked terrified, and angry. "I'm sick of you hoods." He spat before shoving the money in my hands, I spun around and bolted, feeling my leg sting and ache. Quite frankly I didn't care if I was shot, I don't feel much pain, any pain, except the pain in my chestt- my heart.

I came across a booth, a phone booth. I typed in a number I knew by heart, the Curtis'. I rememberd Pony, shit. I left him at the hospital, hopefully the kid made it back in one piece, and didn't break like I did. "Hello?" A voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Darry?" If anybody could help me it was Darry. But I didn't need help, I wanted to say good bye in person to the whole gang.

"No, its Steve." Steve, I could've just told him, instead I found myself asking for Darry.

"Hello?" I heard Darry's familular voice, I almost sobbed right then, but I didn't.

"Johnny's dead man," I held myself together, not wanting him to know how broken I am.

"I know." He said, Ponyboy must've made it home and told em then.

"Listen man, I just robbed a cheap store, meet me at the park." I stated, I heard sirens in the distance. I should've said lot, but the park was closer.

"Okay." I hung up, and ran off after hearing him say he'll meet me. Johnny man, I'll see you soon. I saw them, the gang as I neared the park. The sirens was getting closer, I made sure I looked at Ponyboy before I spun around, the fuzz just getting out of their cars. I smirked, and pulled out the un-loaded heater from my waistband the second time that night.

The cracks of gun fire started imediatley, soon a one of those bullets enterd my chest, more followed.

Johnnycakes, I wanted this. To be with you.

The last thing I felt, pain. The last thought I had, Johnny. The last thing I said; "Johnny." Before I died, under the street light, I always got what I wanted.

And I wanted to be with Johnny.

* * *

A/n: Good? Great? Bad? Awful? Tell me, I want to know. I hope this was good enough, I was aiming for this for angst, I hope I made it sad. Heh, well, thanks for reading. Bai. :3


End file.
